Monday, December 31, 2012

Mistletoe and Match.Com

As we know, thanks to the abundance of diamond commercials that have been splashed on my television screen, and- hello! Have you checked your Facebook newsfeed lately?- we are in engagement season!

Which is why, I, Libby Morris, have an announcement to make....!!

...I am NOT engaged. But thanks for asking... again. Really, I never get tired of telling people, "no, not yet"... (sarcasm. dripping sarcasm.)

I called my best friend today, and instead of answering the phone like someone normally would, ("Hello?") she answered it, "are you engaged yet??"

Funny. But not funny. Har har.

Winter sets a romantic stage, I get it. The lights, the snow, the mistletoe. Romance is in the air and the holiday sales at Zales and Jared are helpful in setting that stage, too, I'm sure. I'd be lying if it didn't cross my mind as my Significant Other and I walked through the decorated Boston Public Garden and stole a kiss under George Washington's statue. (Okay, that part's not very romantic, but hey- it's us.) But just because the season is right, the person is right,  and I'm  sure he can catch the ESP's of my ring size I'm sending to his brain, doesn't necessarily mean the timing is right.

Since I found my one-and-only, I can say pretty confidently that some people fall in love with the idea of love before they actually fall into the real thing. I can understand how easily this can happen to, with movies, mistletoe, and

I heard a song recently that said, "if you don't have two kids by twenty-one, you're probably gonna die alone." As ridiculous as it might sound, I think this fear is very real for people. So they search. And they jump. And they fall...hard.

Internet dating can be very helpful for some people who are confident, secure in who they are and where their life is, and know exactly what they are looking for. I've seen it work. I think though, for the most part, it creates more problems than it solves. It makes so many people accessible to momentarily fulfill your romantic needs, it takes the fright and kahounas out of communication, and gives people the opportunity to paint an unrealistic picture of themselves. The problem you then face is having a handful of interests at your fingertips, no commitment, no assurance in what is real and what isn't, and no accountability to make a decision and pick someone! You are constantly being "winked" at by so many people, banter ensues, phone numbers are exchanged, and next thing you know, you have 17 dates lined up in the span of 3 days and you can't keep them all straight. Suddenly, it becomes so easy to forget the reason you signed up for the site in the first place- to find your ONE and ONLY.

Mistletoe and matchmaking go hand-in-hand. This season awakens the hopeless romantic in all of us, but it also reminds me of a verse in Songs of Solomon: "do not arise or awaken love before it so desires." 

Don't go searching for something you may not be ready to find yet. Take your time. Let love find you. It sounds like a cliche, but I promise you it's true- when I met Shane, I had just done a lot of soul-searching, a lot of work and exploration of who I am and where I wanted to be, and the last thing on my mind was meeting the man of my dreams. Of course, as life so often works, that was exactly when he found me. When I wasn't looking and was least expecting it.

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Say, "Uncle!"

I think I should perhaps rename my blog "The Long List of Libby's Quirks." I feel like I present new ones to you every other entry. It's not that I focus on the negative, but rather, am embracing all aspects of my personality and really getting to know myself more everyday. It's a process and a journey... if you haven't really begun a journey similar, I challenge you to.

I have known for quite sometime that I am a planner. I plan ahead for everything... which explains my overloaded purse (I'm sure one of these days that floss, deodorant, and letter opener will come in handy!), my inability to throw away boxes, Christmas cards sent prior to December 1, and my oh-so extensive Pinterest boards. I love to plan. Sue me.

This quirk comes in handy at times like preparing for a trip, taking my good friend's baby to his first Christmas parade, and when birthday's roll around (happens every year, you know.) Other times, however, I know my ultra-planning gets in the way.

I'd like to say I am a flexible person. I would love to tell you I am a fly-by-the-seat-of-her-pants type gal who "goes with the flow" and says things like, "Whatever happens, happens. No big deal." I would love to lie and tell you all of those things but frankly, I'm much too neurotically type-A.

You all know I love a good glass of wine or girly cocktail from time to time. I would never get drunk though, for one simple reason: I hate to feel out of control. I hate being out of control of my emotions, of my body, of my plans, of my laundry, of the traffic that doesn't realize I have somewhere to be. Being out of control is not ever something I enjoy experiencing (unless of course, I'm on a ride at Busch Gardens. Completely different can of worms.)

With life being what it is, I have to let myself be out of control from time to time. It just comes with this crazy territory. I would like my hand to be in everything relating to Libby, but it just is so often not the case. And that is such a hard pill to swallow.

In life, jobs, family, relationships, restaurants, and traffic- you don't always get to sit in the driver's seat. You don't always get to be chef. You don't always get to be the one calling the shots, making the plays, and creating the itenerary. Sometimes, you just have to say, "Uncle."


Friday, December 7, 2012

Attracting Bees with Honey Comes Full Circle

Boy, do I love it when things come full circle, or I hear that someone actually listened to what I had to say! (It doesn't happen very often. Trust me.)

You may remember my post about my life saying: "you attract more bees with honey than vinegar." (If not, you can read it here.) My mother is the most graceful, poised woman who ALWAYS (I repeat: ALWAYS) gets what she wants. Being her spawn, it has proven to be annoying from time to time, but that is neither here nor there.

I can only take lessons from the master of attracting bees with honey, so take lessons I have! But I'll go one step further, I have decided to share these lessons.

A few weeks ago, a co-worker friend of mine was discussing the woes and frustrations of moving into a new house that was previously inhabited by extreme messy bessies. She wasn't getting very far with the property management and was about at the end of her rope. I shared with her a story of my mother, just one example of her amazing ways that leaves you with the tunnel eyes you see in cartoons..."yes ma'am...I want to do whatever will make you happy...your wish is my command..."

My mother was attempting to use a flight voucher for an upcoming trip. The woman on the phone told her she needed to drive to the airport and complete the transaction there. She drove the 45 minutes to the airport and when there, the American Airlines ticket counter was vacant. Walking around to another counter, she found two American Airline workers who looked like they were about at the end of their shift.

"Can you two help me, please?"
"Our computers aren't on."
"I drove all this way and the woman on the phone said this transaction needs to be completed here. Why don't we put our heads together and come up with a solution?" (Oh, those magic words.)
After a moment of silence, "Oh, okay, I can go log into the computer. Come on."

The trick here was that she didn't raise her voice, she didn't demand anything, but rather, she formulated her request as an act of teamwork. Genius. Of course they were going to help her then!If she had talked down to them, got irritated, or started barking demands, those airline workers would have shut down and not helped her- and she would have left angry and ticket-less. By working together and keeping her cool (and always a splash of charm), she was able to drive home a happy woman.

Today, I got an email from that co-worker whom I shared this story with.

"I just had to tell you, your mom's 'get what she wants' technique is working out beautifully for me. Using the phrase 'why don't we come up with a solution together' is making my life sooo much easier!"

How great is that?! So you see, class, honey really does attract more bees than vinegar.

I, too, have recently used this technique when I picked up a pizza order only to get it home and find it cold. Apparently, they baked the pizza 4 hours earlier when my online order came through, ignoring the time i specified on my ticket.

When I called the manager, I politely asked him what kind of solution could we come up with to fix our predicament.

"I'm so sorry ma'am. I'll give you a nice credit for the next time you order pizza." (Little did he know my significant other is a Papa John's maniac.) I would say that was a score. Reheated the cold pizza, and have free pizza waiting on us this weekend. Bon Appetit.